August 2016 - RandyElster.com

What a quiet time is not

I began this series on quiet time in April and I’m just now continuing. Once every four months sounds about right.

I’m kidding of course, and hopefully your quiet time doesn’t have the same frequency. Strive to have it every day, but don’t beat yourself up if and when you miss a day.

Last time we talked about what a quiet time is in its most basic level. Today I want to talk about what quiet time is not.

A quiet time is NOT:

ONE Another chore to check off the list.

Although it may be helpful to put “Quiet time” on your to-do list, and even more helpful to put it into your agenda and calendar (actually making it an appointment with yourself), it’s not just another item to check off the list, like “Take out the trash.” The most important relationship in your world is your relationship with your Creator. Give this time the importance it deserves.

TWO A way to gain God’s favor.

It may be tempting for some to see a daily quiet time as an obligation that will gain God’s favor; the thinking goes, that if I miss a day, my salvation could be in jeopardy, or God will withdraw His grace. But our salvation and God’s grace is not based on what I do or don’t do. I can’t get more of God’s favor if I’m faithful in my quiet time, and I can’t lose any of His favor if I miss some days.

THREE A ritual or superstition.

A daily quiet time doesn’t keep bad things from happening from us. Missing a day doesn’t mean we’ll get hit by a bus. It’s not a good luck charm or insurance against illness and bad fortune.

FOUR Self-directed thoughts.

When some hear the term quiet time, they may think of a child’s nap-time or a time to turn the tv off and read a book. Or they may think of a time of meditation when they empty their minds, or time to concentrate on their goals for the day. But a quiet time is not a period of self-directed thoughts, but of God-directed thoughts. The Bible helps us with this. The point is, this is not me-time, but God-time. It’s not enough for you to set aside a “time” that is “quiet.”

The objective of a quiet time is to grow in our personal relationship with God, so that we can know Him, love Him more, and become more like Him.

What to do when you feel weak and inadequate

I love the story of the feeding of the thousands with just a few loaves and fishes in Matthew 14:13-21. It’s one of those great Bible stories that I remember being told to me via flannel graph in Sunday School. In this story we see Jesus being concerned for His own rest as well as for the crowd’s hunger. And it’s a huge reminder of God’s strength when I am weak.

In this Scripture I see six things we need to do when we feel weak and inadequate. And, by the way, every Christian should feel somewhat weak and inadequate.

ONE Withdraw.

Feeling feeble is a reminder that you need God’s strength. Like Jesus, you need to recognize your need to get alone with God. Matthew says “he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place” (verse 13). Each of us needs communion with our Creator. We need regular time alone with our Savior. We sometimes call this quiet time—time spent with God in His Word and in prayer. But there are other forms as well—praying aloud in the car, listening to the Bible read to us, walking in nature by ourselves. Even the most outgoing, extroverted of us needs this quiet time alone. And especially when we’re feeling less than.

(I’d like to add to this, that we also need proper rest, exercise, and nutrition. But that’s for another post.)

TWO Focus on others’ needs.

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick” (verse 14). We can’t stay withdrawn forever. God still calls us to have compassion and meet the needs of others. This is especially important when we’re feeling needy ourselves because it takes the focus off of us and onto others. It changes our perspective.

THREE Find strength in numbers.

We see that the disciples join Jesus in verse 15. We need our family and our brothers and sisters in Christ. For those of us more introverted and less outgoing, the temptation will be to stay in the withdrawn stage above. But you can’t stay there. We need others so desperately. Your spouse can give you insight that you lack. Your small group can come around and support you. Your friends can keep you sane in times like this. But you have to let them in.

FOUR Give thanks for what you do have.

“Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves” (verse 19). I believe there’s more here than just asking a blessing over the food. Giving thanks for what we have, even if what we have seems paltry, is a discipline that becomes especially important when we feel needy. In fact, it may need to become just that: a discipline that we stick too. Maybe it involves writing down three things we’re grateful for during our quiet time. Or asking everyone at the dinner table each night what they are grateful to God for about the day. Or making it a habit to write in a gratitude journal before heading to bed. There are many ways to do it, but we need to make sure we change our perspective by focusing on what we’re thankful for rather than being unhealthily fixated on what we don’t have.

FIVE Use what you have to bless others.

Another way to change our outlook is to use what we have, no matter how small, to bless others. Just as Jesus and the disciples gave away the small amount of loaves and fish (verse 19), we need to give. Sometimes this may involve money, sometimes giving away possessions. It may involve a gift of our time or our expertise. However we give, it will bless us as much or more than it blesses the recipient.

SIX Expect God to be strong where you are weak.

Just as the loaves and fishes mysteriously multiplied to feed thousands of people (verses 20-21), God multiplies our efforts when we give—even when we feel weak and inadequate. Many times we may never know how far our efforts go. Our contribution may seem small and weak, but Jesus can multiply it to make it more than sufficient. As Paul says, Christ’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

BONUS POINT Get special help if you need it.

This may take the form of a minister, a counselor, a doctor, whatever. There are times when we need the specialized care of a professional. Please get help if you need it.

From my library: What Color Is Your Parachute?

Card catalogue data
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2015: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers by Richard N. Bolles (Berkley: Ten Speed Press, 1970, 2014)
Category: Vocational guidance
Format: Paperback from the library
Pages: 356

This is the second book I’ve read in August, and the 19th for 2016.

Bottom line
Richard Bolles originally wrote this book in 1970 and has been updated and rewriting it every year since. It’s the “world’s most popular job-hunting guide” with over 10 million copies sold. The bottom line to his method is that you cannot know what you want to do until you know who you are.

Nuts & bolts
The heart of the book is the “flower exercise” where you dig down deep into who you are and eventually what you want to do, so that your career and your job become your passion and not just a paycheck. I must admit that I did not fully follow this procedure; it would take several days of soul-searching. Other topics covered include resumes (and LinkedIn), interviewing, salary negotiation, and starting your own business.

Extras
Several appendices in the book are valuable—as much as the rest of the book. My favorite was “A Guide to Dealing with Your Feelings While Out of Work”; it had some great recommendations. There are also sections on finding a career coach and help for returning veterans. And throughout the book the author gives plenty of online resources and recommendations.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
This is the definitive book for job-hunters and possible career-changers.

From my library: Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Card catalogue data
Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? A Memoir by Roz Chast (New York: Bloomsbury, 2014)
Categories: Biography; humor; caring for aging parents; cartoon
Format: Hardback from library
Pages: 228

This is the first book I read in August, and the 18th for 2016.

Bottom line
With humor and pathos, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast shares the ups and downs of caring for her aging parents in the best way she knows how—through the medium of cartoons.

About the author
Roz Chast grew up in Brooklyn and has illustrated many books, but she is probably most famous for being a New Yorker cartoonist since 1978.

Why I read this book
Gretchin Rubin recommended this quirky book and as I looked into it, it seemed just right for me at the time. Having cared for my parents into their eighties and nineties, and still caring for Dad at 93, it really hit home. The cartoon format helps a difficult subject go down more easily. I identified with so much in this book, it felt somewhat cathartic to read it.

Favorite quote

My father chain-worried the way others might chain-smoke.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Most of us at some point will have to deal with the challenges of our aging parents. If you’ve been through this already or are going through it, you’ll want to read this book. It’s an easy read and will make you laugh, but it will also help you feel less alone.

First paragraph: 48 Days to the Work You Love

Very early in life we begin to determine what we want to be when we grow up. You may remember the childhood nursery rhyme: “Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief, Doctor, Lawyer, Merchant, Chief.” We add other titles to that and begin to imagine the life as a Firefighter, Teacher, Entrepreneur, or Dentist. But as we begin school and start to grow up, there is a subtle yet significant transition from “Who do I want to be?” to “What am I going to do?” We are defined and valued in America by what we do. Unfortunately, the path to doing something often bypasses the basic questions about being something.

48 Days to the Work You Love: Preparing for the New Normal, 10th Anniversary Edition, Revised & Expanded by Dan Miller (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2015)

In case you missed it, I reviewed this book yesterday.

First paragraph is an occasional feature on the blog. The first paragraph of any book should ideally set the tone of the book and whet the reader’s appetite. Some first paragraphs are even works of art in and of themselves. Others are more perfunctory but get the job effectively done. The hope is that these posts will inspire you to read more.

From my library: 48 Days to the Work You Love

Card catalogue data
48 Days to the Work You Love: Preparing for the New Normal, 10th Anniversary Edition, Revised & Expanded by Dan Miller (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2015)
Category: Vocational guidance
Format: Hardback from the library
Pages: 227

This is the second book I read in July, and the 17th book for 2016.

Bottom line
In this book for both job-hunters and folks contemplating a career change, Dan Miller gives you the motivation and the know-how to take the plunge into seeking the job that actually fulfills you.

About the author
Dan Miller is a psychologist and consultant who has built a career around helping people find their ideal career.

Why read this book
The heart of the book is the method Miller strongly suggests the reader uses to get a job, claiming it works for 86% of job seekers. Boiled down, the method is thus: Know your skills; research the potential companies that use those skills; arrange to see the person who has the power to hire; and request the interview. Of course there is much more detail in the book. It also involves following up with each company, an important part of the process. Alternatively, the process of sending thousands of resumes out online rarely results in a job offer.

Favorite quote

You don’t have to know the right people—you just have to get yourself in front of the right people.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Great content and follow up questions to make you think.

Additional resources
The author has collected many additional resources, including sample resumes, at 48days.com.

First paragraph: Warren G. Harding

Warren Harding’s life began as the Civil War was ending. In the winter of 1864, George Tyron Harding, a Union soldier—a fifer who had once shaken President Lincoln’s hand at the White House—was sent home to the Harding family farm near Blooming Grove, Ohio, and his new wife, Phoebe Elizabeth Dickerson, to recover from jaundice. The war was over before Tyron could return to his troops, and much to Phoebe’s relief, for she was carrying their first son, who arrived on November 2, 1865. Phoebe wanted to name him Winfield but her husband preferred a family name: Warren Gamaliel. Warren was Tyron’s grandmother’s maiden name, and Gamaliel an uncle’s name that would prove to be prophetic. In the Bible, Gamaliel was noted for counseling moderation and calmness.

Warren G. Harding (The American Presidents Series, Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., general editor) by John W. Dean (New York: Times Books, 2004)

In case you missed it, I reviewed this book yesterday.

From my library: Warren G. Harding

Card catalogue data
Warren G. Harding (The American Presidents Series, Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., general editor) by John W. Dean (New York: Times Books, 2004)
Categories: U.S. history, presidential biography
Format: Hardback from the library
Pages: 170 (203 with end matter)

This is the first book I read in July, and the 16th for 2016.

Bottom line
Warren G. Harding, our 29th president, has been consistently ranked near the bottom of a list of best to worst U.S. chiefs. His legacy has been plagued with false accusations and distortions. This bio seeks to right that wrong and show Harding in the light of newly discovered papers that were long believed destroyed.

About the author
Yes, this is the John Dean who served as Richard Nixon’s White House counsel and was deeply involved in the Watergate scandal cover-up.

Why I read this book
I am pursuing a long-term goal of reading a biography of each U.S. president in order. Not surprisingly, there are not a lot of choices when looking for a biography on Harding. This one, from the Schlesinger’s American Presidents series, was unexpectedly quite good.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Sources
The author uses presidential papers which had once been thought destroyed by Mrs. Harding.

From my library: The Five-Star Church

Card catalogue data
The Five-Star Church: Serving God and His People with Excellence by Stan Toler and Alan Nelson (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books, 1999, 2012)
Category: Church administration
Format: Kindle
Pages: 230

This is the fourth book I read in June, and the 15th book in 2016.

Bottom line
When you go to a five-star hotel, you expect superior service and an outstanding product. What would happen if we as church leaders endeavored to raise the bar and have a five-star church?

About the authors
Stan Toler is a minister and general superintendent in the Church of the Nazarene and has written 100 books. Alan Nelson is a leadership expert, especially in identifying and developing 10-18 year olds.

Why I read this book
As someone who is interested in improving the systems that run a church, I read this book with special notice of the role of a church secret shopper and their help in improving churches.

Format of the book
Each chapter is divided into four sections: (1) a narrative fable where we follow the fictional account of a couple of ministers learning from the general manager of a five-star hotel, (2) an explanation of the principles and applications, (3) a question and answer section, and (4) a “Doers Section” with ideas for implementation.

What I’ve learned
Many of the principles in this book I was already aware of; we had implemented most of them at the church where I recently served. But there were some great reminders as well as some questions I had never thought of before. Certainly improving the church to five-star level is not the only thing our churches need, but it’s an important factor if we are to reach the unchurched and grow, not decline like most churches.

Favorite quote

A market-sensitive church need not compromise on its message, but it must change its methods if it is to meet the spiritual needs of people. Excuse my soapbox a second, but a market-oriented church gives people what they need in the way they like to receive it. Seems to me, that’s what Jesus did most of the time.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
I recommend this book to any church leader (but especially a senior leader) who is looking to improve their church. It’s also a good resource for church secret shopper ideas.

Appendices
There are some good resources in the back of the book, including surveys for secret shoppers and other forms.

Other related books
Mark Waltz has much to say on this topic in his trilogy of books First Impressions: Creating Wow Experiences in Your Church, Lasting Impressions: From Visiting to Belonging, and How to Wow Your Church Guests: 101 Ways to Make a Meaningful First Impression. From a business perspective, much of The Disney Institute’s Be Our Guest: Perfecting the Art of Customer Service translates into the church world.

First paragraph: The Wright Brothers

From ancient times and into the middle ages, man had dreamed of taking to the sky, of soaring into the blue like the birds. One savant in Spain in the year 875 is known to have covered himself with feathers in the attempt. Others devised wings of their own design and jumped from rooftops and towers—some to their deaths—in Constantinople, Nuremberg, Perugia. Learned monks conceived schemes on paper. And starting about 1490, Leonardo da Vinci made the most serious studies. He felt predestined to study flight, he said, and related a childhood memory of a kite flying down onto his cradle.

The Wright Brothers by David McCullough (New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2015, 2016)

In case you missed it, I wrote last week in depth about this book.