Author: Randy Elster

From my library: Wounded by God’s People

Card catalogue data
Wounded by God’s People: Discovering How God’s Love Heals Our Hearts by Anne Graham Lotz (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2013)
Category: Christian living
Format: Kindle
Pages: 240 (in the hardcover version)

This is the second book I’ve read in January and thus the second book of 2017.

First paragraph

As I look back on my life, it saddens me to acknowledge that some of my most painful wounds were inflicted by religious people—Gods people. Those who have been the most hurtful, those who have been the most unkind, those who have betrayed, slandered, and undermined me have been those who have also called themselves by God’s name. They have been considered Christians by themselves and by others. Yet they have been men and women whose words and behavior are inconsistent with what they say they believe and contradict what God says. Even now, I shake my head in near disbelief as I recall some of the painful experiences I will share with you in this book.

Why I read this book
Like the author, I have had my share of hurts and woundings, many of them from God’s people. This past year has been no exception. I picked up this kindle book a while back when it was on sale, but I read it last week and it was perfect timing. At the beginning of a new year, with fresh, new goals, it seemed the right time to unshackle from some of the hurts that were holding me back still. And while forgiveness is a continual effort, I felt like this gave me a good start.

The book in a paragraph
Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy & Ruth Graham, has written about how we get hurt by others, especially by Christians, and how we deal with that hurt. She opens up the bandages to show us the wounds in all their gory detail and empathizes with us about the pain they inflict. But then she goes deeper and shows us how to recover and even forgive. She uses the story of Hagar in the Bible as a running theme throughout the book. (Hagar was the servant of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. You may remember that, when Sarah couldn’t seem to have a child, she told Abraham to be intimate with Hagar. This produces a son, Ishmael, the beginnings of the Arab and Islamic worlds.) Lotz pulls many lessons from the account of the hurt that Sarah inflicts on Hagar and applies it to our modern lives.

The bottom line
We must forgive those that wound us. Forgiveness is not a feeling or a one-time act, but a continual choice we make to love the other person (although love is different from trust). And we show that forgiveness through specific acts of love toward that person.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
You may be tempted to think this is a book for women, but I found it to be engaging and applicable to men and women. Even though Lotz gives examples of her own wounding, she keeps the book grounded in Scripture. She is both sympathetic to the wounded while gently prodding them to do what they already know they must do: forgive. And everyone has been wounded, so the book applies to everyone. I highly recommend this book.

From my library: Twilight at the World of Tomorrow

Card catalogue data
Twilight at the World of Tomorrow: Genius, Madness, Murder, and the 1939 World’s Fair on the Brink of War by James Mauro (New York: Ballantine Books, 2010)
Category: History
Format: Hard cover from a used bookstore
Pages: 350 (405 with end matter)

This is the first book I’ve read in January, and thus the first book of 2017. Although the case could be made for counting it as the 23rd book of 2016 since I only read the final few pages on January 1. No matter. Let’s count it for 2017 since I have a higher goal this year.

First paragraph

By all accounts, 1934 was a remarkable year: Flash Gordon made his first appearance in the comic strips, and Frank Capra’s It Happened One Night, starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, would go on to win every major Academy Award. In May, one of the worst storms of the Dust Bowl swept away massive heaps of Great Plains topsoil; in August, Adolph Hitler became Germany’s new Führer. Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, Bonnie and Clyde, and John Dillinger were all gunned down in spectacular, tabloid-titillating fashion. On Broadway, Ethel Merman opened in Cole Porter’s big new hit, Anything Goes; while farther uptown, in Harlem, seventeen-year-old Ella Fitzgerald made her singing debut at the recently christened Apollo Theater.

Why I read this book
I have a fascination with the great world’s fairs and expositions of a bygone era and I’ve read a couple of other histories of them, including The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson and Tomorrow-Land: The 1964-65 World’s Fair and the Transformation of America by Joseph Tirella.

The book in a paragraph
This look at the New York World’s Fair of 1939 and 1940—built on The Great Gatsby’s infamous ash heaps—follows the lives of several key figures, including Albert Einstein, the Fair’s president Grover Whalen, two NYC police detectives, President Franklin Roosevelt, Mayor La Guardia, and others. It shows the irony of an extravagant gathering of nations to promote peace while the storms of World War 2 gather. The “World of Tomorrow” introduced television, the fax machine, nylon, and fluorescent lights to the world, but its lofty dreams of the future would come crashing down two years later.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
This is a wonderfully written book that focuses on a forgotten event in our past. The idea of a World’s Fair seems like an anachronism today. But in this book the excitement and drama behind the scenes are brought to life. Highly recommended.

Deliverance in 2017

I love the beginning of a new year. The post-Christmas calmness and stillness leads into a joyful celebration of a new year and new ideas and, yes, new resolutions.

While we feel calm and rested we make new year’s resolutions which we cannot possibly keep once the hubbub of life resumes in just a few days.

But hope springs eternal, as the saying goes.

For myself, 2016 was such a bust (and really the past three years were cruddy) that I look quite forward to 2017. Let’s leave the old year in the dust!

As you and I begin 2017 full of hope and promise, I want to encourage you—and encourage myself—to commit—or recommit—to a daily quiet time with our God.

As I was reading Psalm 32 yesterday in my first quiet time of the year, I was struck by how important daily connection with my Father is and will be for the coming year.

If you would, humor me and read this psalm of David below (NIV):

1 Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the Lord does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

As I read through these verses and meditated on them, I felt the Lord giving me six diagnostic questions to meditate on as I begin the new year.

ONE  Am I seeking God’s forgiveness DAILY? (vv. 1-5)

David spends so much time at the beginning of this psalm singing of God’s forgiveness, and I think we should give the topic some important consideration too. Yes, if you are a Christian, Christ’s death and resurrection paid the price for your sin and you are forgiven. In that sense, salvation is a one-time event. But we do still sin and daily need to ask for God’s forgiveness.

It’s what Jesus talked about when Peter argued with Jesus about washing Peter’s feet in John 13:6-10. Jesus was saying that walking as a Christian in this fallen world will mean that our feet will get dirty and will need to be cleaned. That’s what daily forgiveness is about.

TWO  Am I praying DAILY? (v. 6)

David says “let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found.” We have a supreme privilege as Christians to enter into a friendship with a holy God! In Hebrews 4:16 we read that we can “approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Why would we not take advantage of this open dialog that we now have?! We need to commune with Him daily.

THREE  Am I seeking God for my deliverance DAILY? (v. 7)

David sings here that our Father is our hiding place, our protection, and our deliverance. Whatever we’re facing in 2017, we can face it with God, knowing that He will protect us and deliver us. Am I daily acknowledging that truth and asking God to deliver me and protect me?

FOUR  Am I listening for God’s instruction and counsel DAILY? (vv. 8-9)

According to verse 8, our God wants to instruct us and teach us and show us the way to go and counsel us. Why? Because He loves us! But the only way He can do those things is if we take some quiet moments daily to listen to Him through His Word and through prayer. This is, partly, how God will deliver me, but I must do my part and listen.

The alternative is to be like a stubborn mule that can only be led by bits and bridles and discipline and punishment. My study Bible puts it well: “God longs to guide us with love and wisdom rather than punishment. He offers to teach us the best way to go. Accept the advice written in God’s Word and don’t let your stubbornness keep you from obeying God.”

FIVE  Am I trusting in God’s unfailing love DAILY? (v. 10)

When I trust in God—in His will for me, in His timing, in His ways, in His purposes, in His omniscience, in His sovereignty—it’s as if I can feel God’s unfailing love surrounding me. Even though circumstances may look grim, I trust in Him. Father really does know best. But at times this is a daily struggle to get to this reality by faith.

SIX  Am I rejoicing in God and His provision DAILY? (v. 11)

This last question is the summing up of all the other questions. Rejoice, be glad, sing. Be thankful and praise God for even minor steps of deliverance and provision. And when you can’t rejoice in anything else, rejoice in God, by faith. Find your joy in Him and in Him alone. Sing and lift up your voice to Him in praise. The Bible is such a help here when we don’t know what else to say.

These six questions all lead to a daily quiet time with the Lord. Make it a goal to daily get in touch with your Father God, with your Creator, with your Lord and Savior. And discover that He is your hiding place, your protection, your deliverance, your forgiveness, your teacher, your counselor. Discover that He is your deliverer and your source of joy and love.

Lifelong learning tips

Ways to keep growing and learning

If you’re going to keep growing—as a leader, as an employee, as a human being—then you’ll need to keep learning. If you want to remain interested and stay interesting, keep learning. If you want to stay ahead of the competition, increase your value to your boss, or become a thought leader, you have to keep learning.

Curiosity keeps us feeling young and keeps our brains in tip top shape. And the way to do that is to develop ways to become a lifelong learner.

Paul Sohn has a great post HERE on 10 ways to become a lifelong learner. I encourage you to read it. I agree with all 10 on his list but my two favorites would have to be books (#4 on Sohn’s list) and listening & asking (#2). In fact, I just came from a great lunch meeting where I learned a whole boatload just by asking questions.

I would add a couple more to his list. One is podcasts. There are so many great podcasts out there now and many are high quality. You can load them up on your device (I use the Stitcher app) and then listen while commuting or mowing the grass or walking the treadmill. A couple that I have found especially meaningful are The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast (for church leaders), The EntreLeadership Podcast (for entrepreneurs and business leaders from a Christian perspective, from the Dave Ramsey team), and the TED Radio Hour (interviews and snippets from TED Talk speakers centered around a topic each month). But there are so many great ones.

Reading blogs is another method I would add. Use an app like feedly to feed the blogs you follow; then you can go to one page for all the blogs. Learn the art of skimming to get through all the posts, but slow down when you hit something especially intriguing or applicable. This is how you can sift through a lot of blog posts and info quickly.

In all your learning, whether books, podcasts, whatever, make sure you get a balanced diet. Yes, you want to learn things related to your career (or the career you wish to move into), but also include topics related to who you are as a person and what your interests are. And then go beyond that into wildcard topics. Maybe you enjoy history books, but read a science or art book occasionally, or something else you wouldn’t normally read. And occasionally read something a little bit beyond you to challenge yourself.

Finally, use a journal to make notes on what you’re learning and how you might apply your learnings. Don’t just drink in the info, but really think it through and determine how you can grow as a person.

What are your favorite ways to learn?

5 habits to better manage the storms of life

Life can be overwhelming at times, even scary. It’s a dangerous world we live in and no matter how good we are or how well we try to live our lives, storms will inevitably come. How do we make it through the storms of life?

We get some clues in Matthew 14:22-33 where Jesus walks on water to the disciples’ boat in the midst of a storm and then commands Peter to walk on water as well. In this account, we see how fear overwhelms us and how to counter that fear with five habits.

How fear overwhelms us:

ONE  Through the buffeting storms of life.

Matthew says they were a considerable distance from land when a storm came up, and the boat was “buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it” (Matthew 14:24 NIV). The storms of life come against us all. They are inevitable in this fallen world. You are either just coming out of a storm, currently in a storm, or about to go into a storm. In my mind, the storm could be illness, unemployment, family problems, difficult people, etc.

TWO  Through the unexpected horrors of life.

When Jesus came walking on the water, the disciples did not immediately recognize Him. They thought He was a ghost and they cried out in fear (Matthew 14:25-26). To me, these unexpected horrors could be losing a loved one, getting a terminal diagnosis, getting fired, or other even more difficult experiences. The kinds of things no one expects will happen to them. These experiences mark us for life.

THREE  Through the myriad distractions of life.

After Peter walked on water a bit, he started looking around and began to sink (Matthew 14:29-30). In our 21st-century world, we have more distractions than ever before. Studies show that our constant checking of email, texts, and social media dings on our phones and other devices keep us from being productive on the things that really matter. When we get distracted, we get our eyes off of the prize, and we begin to get discouraged and fearful.

How do we counter the overwhelming fears of life? Through these five habits:

ONE  Pray diligently (before and during the storm).

It’s interesting to me that it seems Jesus was the only one who went away to pray (Matthew 14:23). Consistent, daily prayer during the more mundane times prepares us for stormy weather. This is not about ignoring God when things are quiet and then suddenly crying out to Him when a squall hits. This is about praying during the quiet of an ordinary day, day in and day out. The ones who do this are stronger. They can’t avoid the storms; no one can. And they are not immune to the effects of them. But they can weather them from a place of strength and courage.

TWO  Take courage (don’t be afraid).

When the disciples think they’re seeing a ghost, Jesus immediately says, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid” (Matthew 14:26-27). How do we “take courage”? To take courage means we have to receive it from someone. We take courage from Christ when we store up His Word in our hearts. We take courage from the positive, godly people we surround ourselves with and run to when needed. We take courage from a loving spouse who knows just what we need to hear.

THREE  Be obedient (do what God says).

When Jesus says, “Come” (Matthew 14:29), we need to come. Be obedient to what God tells you to do. If you’re not sure what that is, go back to what you know. Obey in the dark what you know to be right in the light. God will often call us to do something in faith during these dark times, and we will find courage and conquer fear as we obey Him.

FOUR  Have faith (don’t doubt).

As Jesus catches Peter, He says, “You of little faith . . . why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31). When we get overwhelmed by the pressures and distractions of life, it’s easy to begin doubting and losing faith. Our eyes get set on this world that we can easily see instead of the spiritual world that takes faith to see. We need to reset our eyes and reboot our faith by turning to God and His Word.

FIVE  Worship God (thank Him).

At the end of this passage, the boat passengers worship God (Matthew 14:33). After having witnessed what they did, you would have too. During these fearful times, we also need to worship God. Worship Him and thank Him for all He has done. This is easy to do when He answers prayer, but also do it when things are going haywire. There are always things to be thankful for. There’s a gratitude movement going on where folks are challenged to be grateful for three things each day, writing them down in a journal. This is good and right, but as Christians we also recognize that there is a Person to direct our thanks to.

We can’t avoid the storms of life. They rain down on each person. But we can employ these five habits to better manage the storms.

What’s your most effective weapon against fear and the storms of life?

Random thoughts: Gratitude

So grateful to the Lord this week for several things:

  • Grateful that our “anonymous benefactor” has struck again blessing us with cash. Amazing!
  • Grateful that, even though a crown fell out of my head and down the drain, I was able to retrieve it.
  • Grateful that putting the crown back in was quick, painless, and free, even though we don’t have dental insurance now.
  • Grateful that my daughter Jenni, a high school senior, is doing great as a dual-enrolled student at Kennesaw State University.
  • Grateful for encouragement from godly friends, both old and new.
  • Grateful about guidance from the Lord about an opportunity for Cheryl, even if it is a closed door.
  • Grateful for a new month, with new opportunities.
  • Grateful that autumn is inching ever closer.
  • Grateful that Stranger Things was greenlit for a second season on Netflix.
  • Grateful for Stitcher, and for great podcasts.
  • Grateful for God’s Word.
  • Grateful that God fulfills what He promises (2 Chronicles 6:4).
  • Grateful that God gives us discernment about next steps (Psalm 119:105).
  • Grateful that no weapon formed against me will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
  • Grateful that God hears and answers our prayers (2 Chronicles 7:15).
  • Grateful that no person and no army can stand against me when God is on my side (2 Chronicles 13:18; 14:11).

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

—Charles Dickens

What are you grateful for?

What a quiet time is not

I began this series on quiet time in April and I’m just now continuing. Once every four months sounds about right.

I’m kidding of course, and hopefully your quiet time doesn’t have the same frequency. Strive to have it every day, but don’t beat yourself up if and when you miss a day.

Last time we talked about what a quiet time is in its most basic level. Today I want to talk about what quiet time is not.

A quiet time is NOT:

ONE Another chore to check off the list.

Although it may be helpful to put “Quiet time” on your to-do list, and even more helpful to put it into your agenda and calendar (actually making it an appointment with yourself), it’s not just another item to check off the list, like “Take out the trash.” The most important relationship in your world is your relationship with your Creator. Give this time the importance it deserves.

TWO  A way to gain God’s favor.

It may be tempting for some to see a daily quiet time as an obligation that will gain God’s favor; the thinking goes, that if I miss a day, my salvation could be in jeopardy, or God will withdraw His grace. But our salvation and God’s grace is not based on what I do or don’t do. I can’t get more of God’s favor if I’m faithful in my quiet time, and I can’t lose any of His favor if I miss some days.

THREE  A ritual or superstition.

A daily quiet time doesn’t keep bad things from happening from us. Missing a day doesn’t mean we’ll get hit by a bus. It’s not a good luck charm or insurance against illness and bad fortune.

FOUR  Self-directed thoughts.

When some hear the term quiet time, they may think of a child’s nap-time or a time to turn the tv off and read a book. Or they may think of a time of meditation when they empty their minds, or time to concentrate on their goals for the day. But a quiet time is not a period of self-directed thoughts, but of God-directed thoughts. The Bible helps us with this. The point is, this is not me-time, but God-time. It’s not enough for you to set aside a “time” that is “quiet.”

The objective of a quiet time is to grow in our personal relationship with God, so that we can know Him, love Him more, and become more like Him.

What to do when you feel weak and inadequate

I love the story of the feeding of the thousands with just a few loaves and fishes in Matthew 14:13-21. It’s one of those great Bible stories that I remember being told to me via flannel graph in Sunday School. In this story we see Jesus being concerned for His own rest as well as for the crowd’s hunger. And it’s a huge reminder of God’s strength when I am weak.

In this Scripture I see six things we need to do when we feel weak and inadequate. And, by the way, every Christian should feel somewhat weak and inadequate.

ONE  Withdraw.

Feeling feeble is a reminder that you need God’s strength. Like Jesus, you need to recognize your need to get alone with God. Matthew says “he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place” (verse 13). Each of us needs communion with our Creator. We need regular time alone with our Savior. We sometimes call this quiet time—time spent with God in His Word and in prayer. But there are other forms as well—praying aloud in the car, listening to the Bible read to us, walking in nature by ourselves. Even the most outgoing, extroverted of us needs this quiet time alone. And especially when we’re feeling less than.

(I’d like to add to this, that we also need proper rest, exercise, and nutrition. But that’s for another post.)

TWO  Focus on others’ needs.

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick” (verse 14). We can’t stay withdrawn forever. God still calls us to have compassion and meet the needs of others. This is especially important when we’re feeling needy ourselves because it takes the focus off of us and onto others. It changes our perspective.

THREE  Find strength in numbers.

We see that the disciples join Jesus in verse 15. We need our family and our brothers and sisters in Christ. For those of us more introverted and less outgoing, the temptation will be to stay in the withdrawn stage above. But you can’t stay there. We need others so desperately. Your spouse can give you insight that you lack. Your small group can come around and support you. Your friends can keep you sane in times like this. But you have to let them in.

FOUR  Give thanks for what you do have.

“Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves” (verse 19). I believe there’s more here than just asking a blessing over the food. Giving thanks for what we have, even if what we have seems paltry, is a discipline that becomes especially important when we feel needy. In fact, it may need to become just that: a discipline that we stick too. Maybe it involves writing down three things we’re grateful for during our quiet time. Or asking everyone at the dinner table each night what they are grateful to God for about the day. Or making it a habit to write in a gratitude journal before heading to bed. There are many ways to do it, but we need to make sure we change our perspective by focusing on what we’re thankful for rather than being unhealthily fixated on what we don’t have.

FIVE  Use what you have to bless others.

Another way to change our outlook is to use what we have, no matter how small, to bless others. Just as Jesus and the disciples gave away the small amount of loaves and fish (verse 19), we need to give. Sometimes this may involve money, sometimes giving away possessions. It may involve a gift of our time or our expertise. However we give, it will bless us as much or more than it blesses the recipient.

SIX  Expect God to be strong where you are weak.

Just as the loaves and fishes mysteriously multiplied to feed thousands of people (verses 20-21), God multiplies our efforts when we give—even when we feel weak and inadequate. Many times we may never know how far our efforts go. Our contribution may seem small and weak, but Jesus can multiply it to make it more than sufficient. As Paul says, Christ’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

BONUS POINT  Get special help if you need it.

This may take the form of a minister, a counselor, a doctor, whatever. There are times when we need the specialized care of a professional. Please get help if you need it.

From my library: What Color Is Your Parachute?

What Color Is Your Parachute 2015Card catalogue data
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2015: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers by Richard N. Bolles (Berkley: Ten Speed Press, 1970, 2014)
Category: Vocational guidance
Format: Paperback from the library
Pages: 356

This is the second book I’ve read in August, and the 19th for 2016.

Bottom line
Richard Bolles originally wrote this book in 1970 and has been updated and rewriting it every year since. It’s the “world’s most popular job-hunting guide” with over 10 million copies sold. The bottom line to his method is that you cannot know what you want to do until you know who you are.

Nuts & bolts
The heart of the book is the “flower exercise” where you dig down deep into who you are and eventually what you want to do, so that your career and your job become your passion and not just a paycheck. I must admit that I did not fully follow this procedure; it would take several days of soul-searching. Other topics covered include resumes (and LinkedIn), interviewing, salary negotiation, and starting your own business.

Extras
Several appendices in the book are valuable—as much as the rest of the book. My favorite was “A Guide to Dealing with Your Feelings While Out of Work”; it had some great recommendations. There are also sections on finding a career coach and help for returning veterans. And throughout the book the author gives plenty of online resources and recommendations.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
This is the definitive book for job-hunters and possible career-changers.

From my library: Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Card catalogue dataCant We Talk About Something More Pleasant
Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? A Memoir by Roz Chast (New York: Bloomsbury, 2014)
Categories: Biography; humor; caring for aging parents; cartoon
Format: Hardback from library
Pages: 228

This is the first book I read in August, and the 18th for 2016.

Bottom line
With humor and pathos, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast shares the ups and downs of caring for her aging parents in the best way she knows how—through the medium of cartoons.

About the author
Roz Chast grew up in Brooklyn and has illustrated many books, but she is probably most famous for being a New Yorker cartoonist since 1978.

Why I read this book
Gretchin Rubin recommended this quirky book and as I looked into it, it seemed just right for me at the time. Having cared for my parents into their eighties and nineties, and still caring for Dad at 93, it really hit home. The cartoon format helps a difficult subject go down more easily. I identified with so much in this book, it felt somewhat cathartic to read it.

Favorite quote

My father chain-worried the way others might chain-smoke.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Most of us at some point will have to deal with the challenges of our aging parents. If you’ve been through this already or are going through it, you’ll want to read this book. It’s an easy read and will make you laugh, but it will also help you feel less alone.