Author: Randy Elster

Seven promises to help you persevere

per·se·ver·ance /pərsəˈvirəns/ noun steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

The last couple of years have seen some difficulties for me and my family, and the word perseverance has come to mind many times. It takes absolute perseverance at times just to get through life, to get through another day.

I’ve been reading Jackie Bledsoe‘s excellent book The 7 Rings of Marriage: Your Model for a Lasting and Fulfilling Marriage. In one chapter he mentions seven promises from God’s Word that help us to persevere. These promises can apply to persevering in your marriage, in your job or special project, or in any area.

ONE You are unbeatable because God is always with you.

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

—Joshua 1:5 NIV

TWO Things are working together, and good results will come from them.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

—Romans 8:28 NIV

THREE Despite the way life may look, you are a winner.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

—Romans 8:37 NIV

FOUR God wants to help you, and He will if you ask Him.

Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.

—Psalm 55:22 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—1 Peter 5:7 NIV

FIVE Even in tough times, good things are happening.

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.

—Psalm 112:4 NIV

SIX God’s grace is enough, and His power is strongest when we are weakest.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

—2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

SEVEN The challenges you face now pale in comparison to the blessings you’ll receive.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

—Romans 8:18 NIV

I hope these promises from God’s Word encourage you to persevere as they do me.

By the way, I highly recommend Jackie Bledsoe’s book and his blog as well.

Epic fail: Lessons on failure

I’ve been thinking a lot about failure recently. A few months back I read John Maxwell’s book Failing Forward: How to Make the Most of Your Mistakes, and I’ve been posting some of those thoughts on facebook as my “thought for today” ever since.

About a week ago we had an event at our church that I was in charge of. It was a “Couples Night Out” event where we partnered with Family Christian Stores to show the movie War Room. You can read more about that here.

In some ways, you could say the event was a success, but mostly I came away from it feeling like a failure. Only around 50 people showed up for it, out of a church of about 1800 on a Sunday morning and around 1,000 in small groups.

I had to really spend some time processing this and thankfully my wife is great at helping me do that. And I didn’t have to pay a therapist!

I came away from it with a few lessons learned about failure, reinforced by what I’ve been reading.

ONE Events can be failures; people are not.

This is such an important distinction to make. I think it’s probably human nature to come away from an event we feel we’ve failed at and to feel ourselves like a failure. It seems like just semantics but this is so important: I am not a failure. I may have failed at something. But I am not a failure.

When we assign failure to ourselves, to the person, there’s not much hope of recovering from that or improving. If I am a failure, I have no choice but to fail.

But if instead I assign failure to an event or an action, I can learn from it and go on.

TWO Rarely can an entire event be called a failure. Look for the positive.

Many times we can see where our failure has compounded: we see that we did this wrong, and that, and the other. And this drowns us in a vortex of failure.

But if we step back and look objectively—and this is where another viewpoint is so helpful—we’ll see that not everything about the event or project was a failure. We need to recognize the silver lining in the dark cloud.

When we impartially look back, with the help of a spouse or coworker or friend or counselor, we can see these bright spots. But it takes effort to look for them. For me and my event, yes, only 50 people came. But those were 50 people who needed to come and were inspired. Some of those 50 people I did not know, so that was a good thing.

There were other positives, and many lessons learned as well, which I might get to in another post.

It takes some work of reflection, and it’s harder for some personalities than others, but you have to take off those pessimistic glasses and put on the rose-colored ones, and hopefully get a more realistic picture of the event. Then you can more objectively see the failures and successes together.

THREE  It’s only a failure if you don’t truly try.

For me, inaction—in the form of perfectionism and procrastination, and probably some other ways I’m not quite aware of yet—keeps me from trying. The faulty reasoning goes like this: If I don’t try, I can’t fail.

But the reality is that not trying really is failing. And the inverse is trying = success. As long as you are out there trying and learning from your efforts and applying those learnings to greater efforts and more trying, you are winning.

FOUR  It’s not a failure; it’s just an experiment.

Remember Thomas Edison’s quote when he had gone through thousands of failed experiments in trying to come up with a commercially viable light bulb:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Ultimately, if we can keep from looking at ourselves as failures and also not look at the events themselves as failures, but rather as experiments and experiences, we can learn and grow from them.

But we need to spend some time in reflection as well as discussion with others to learn. John Maxwell says:

Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is.

So next time you feel like a failure, reframe yourself and the experience. You are not a failure. Look for the positive in what has happened. You are a success just because you tried and put yourself out there. And this experiment will help you learn and grow and make you better.

How do you positively approach failure so you can learn from it?

Couples Night Out—Movie Edition: War Room

This weekend at NorthStar Church, don’t miss out on this special free event just for couples! It’s Couples Night Out—Movie Edition!

On Saturday evening, April 30, 2016, we’ll be showing the smash hit War Room in the Compass Center. The event is free. Movie snacks will be available in Esther’s Café for a suggested donation of $1 apiece.

Concessions open at 6:00pm and the movie begins at 6:30pm.

This event is sponsored by Family Christian Stores in their support of the local church and the National Day of Prayer, coming up Thursday, May 5. In Acworth, the National Day of Prayer will be observed at 10:00am at City Hall.

While this is a Couples Night Out, everyone is invited. The film is rated PG; it is suggested that the film is not appropriate for children below middle school age. No childcare is provided for this event.

Watch the trailer below!

From the award-winning creators of Fireproof and Courageous comes WAR ROOM, a compelling drama with humor and heart that explores the power that prayer can have on marriages, parenting, careers, friendships, and every other area of our lives.

Tony and Elizabeth Jordan have it all—great jobs, a beautiful daughter, and their dream house. But appearances can be deceiving. Tony and Elizabeth Jordan’s world is actually crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. While Tony basks in his professional success and flirts with temptation, Elizabeth resigns herself to increasing bitterness. But their lives take an unexpected turn when Elizabeth meets her newest client, Miss Clara, and is challenged to establish a “war room” and a battle plan of prayer for her family. As Elizabeth tries to fight for her family, Tony’s hidden struggles come to light. Tony must decide if he will make amends to his family and prove Miss Clara’s wisdom that victories don’t come by accident.

WAR ROOM is a vivid reminder that prayer is a powerful weapon.

What is “quiet time”?

In our church, we talk a lot about the term “quiet time” and the Christian’s need for this daily. But you may be wondering just what exactly is a quiet time and how do I do it? Over several blog posts, I hope to clear some of that up. Today, I just want to focus on what the term means.

Put simply, quiet time is just communing with God. It’s a time we set aside in the quiet of our day to seek to have a conversation with God.

The purpose of a quiet time is simply to build a relationship with God and spend time with Him. The end result is we become more like Him and grow spiritually, growing to love Him more and obey Him more.

At its basic level, a quiet time can be broken down into two parts: Bible intake and prayer. It’s been said that the Bible is how God speaks to us and prayer is how we speak to God.

We emphasize the word “quiet” because ideally it happens in the quiet of our day, usually in the early morning before others are up. Or for some night owls, after everyone else is in bed. But because everyone is different and each person’s situation is different, it might be a not-so-quiet time. You could theoretically have it at McDonald’s while the kids are in the PlayPlace, or in a jet flying over the Midwest (maybe with noise-cancelling headphones?), or in an office cubicle or your car during lunch. Different stages of life may call for adjustments here, but the ideal situation is the quiet of an early morning in your own home.

More important than the place is the attitude of your heart, that you are quieting your inner restlessness to focus on your relationship with Christ, just as Christ did in communing with His Father.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

—Mark 1:35 NIV

What does the term quiet time mean to you?

You can’t always get what you want…

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for but got everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

—A Christian Confederate Soldier’s Prayer (Anonymous—alleged to have been found on a CSA casualty at the Devil’s Den, Gettysburg)

HT: History Addict

It takes courage

The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12 NIV) are all about living life differently. And it takes courage to live life differently from the rest of the world.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

It takes courage to live a life poor in spirit, to live a life of humility and dependence instead of proudly and independently.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

It takes courage to take responsibility for your own sin, to ask forgiveness, to mourn over your sin instead of ignoring it and pursuing pleasure at any cost.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.

It takes courage to live a life of meekness, to realize you have great power but not misuse it, to be patient.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.

It takes courage to seek to hunger and thirst for righteousness instead of for the things of this world, to deny self and seek to be filled with God’s Word.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

It takes courage to show mercy to others instead of bringing the gavel of judgment down and making people pay, giving them what you think they deserve.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.

It takes courage to stay pure in heart in a fallen world when all around us impurity is encouraged and normalized.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.

It takes courage to be a peacemaker, to seek to smooth out instead of fanning the flames, It takes courage to not just turn a deaf ear and to be concerned with more than just our own inner peace.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

And it takes courage to stand up under persecution and not deny and flee.

I’m grateful that God gives us His Spirit and that He empowers us as Christians to live this way. But it still takes courage to go against the flow of our sinful nature and the way of the world.

What do you need courage for today?

Not every day is good, BUT . . .

OK, I must admit, I struggle greatly sometimes. One of the reasons I have not blogged lately is because I have been struggling emotionally. Depression is a serious issue affecting millions and I am one of those millions.

Even if you don’t struggle with this issue, I know you have bad days from time to time. It’s amazing how one moment can change the course of your day and turn your outlook from positive to negative in a flash.

  • An unkind word.
  • An unexpected bill.
  • A startling phone call.
  • A negative comment.
  • A dashboard light.
  • A frightening diagnosis.
  • An alarming email.

Even if your outlook is naturally cheery and your sunny disposition is rarely cloudy, sometimes, in a flash, your day can go from sweet to sour, and suddenly everything’s coming up weeds—no roses to be found.

Recently a statement I read on my pastor’s daughter’s blog caught my imagination. I’m considering blowing it up to a 200-point font and pasting it on every surface I may look at to remind myself of this truth. Here it is:

Not every day is good, but it is best to look at the good in every day.

Simple, right? But powerful.

It is a plain fact that not every day is good. For me, as I have struggled with this dark side of me called depression, those days can easily turn into weeks. It can be difficult to see through the thick fog of despair, sometimes demanding to even get out of bed or take one step forward.

But this simple statement reminds me, even in the darkest days, to look for the one lone ray of light. To rifle through stacks of despair to locate a dispatch of hope. To search for the good needle in the haystack of gloom.

Not every day is good, but it is best to look at the good in every day.

One of the ways I’m trying to do this is by writing down three things I’m grateful for. I have a custom daily to do sheet I designed and use and there is a spot on the sheet for me to write this down every day. I also have a weekly focus sheet I use and I have a spot there to record “good things that happened this week.” And I’m trying to stop in the midst of a swirling vortex of despair moment and look for the good, the right, the positive to focus on and move me forward. By the way, my wife is great at helping me with this.

I’m sure you can think of many other ways to do this. The best way for you is the way that works best for you. The most important thing is that you have a specific strategy, not some vague idea.

How do you focus on the positive in the midst of the negative? What’s your specific strategy?

Do what you know to do

We are what we repeatedly do.

—Aristotle

Our family, like thousands of others in our area, spent the last week on spring break. I even took some vacation days to relax and spend with my favorite people. But unlike what seemed like 95% of said families—at least, according to my facebook feed—we did not head to the beach but stayed home. A “staycation” some call it.

It was a much needed spell of relaxed schedules and free time and I would not go back and change it. But I found myself reflecting on the value of daily habits yesterday.

In the sermon at church the statement was made that Christ is never satisfied with where I am, but wants me to take the next step. That rings true with me. I feel like I’m always looking for the next step, sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small ways. And especially now that Jenni will be starting her senior year of high school in the fall dual-enrolled at Kennesaw State University, I’ve been thinking about her next steps as well as Cheryl’s as we enter a new season in our family.

But as I contemplated all this, I felt God speaking to me something very important: Rather than being consumed with seeking the next step in my life and in the life of our family, right now we need to do what we know God has called us to do. And many of the things God has called us to do involve steady progress involving small daily habits.

Let me explain with an example.

I know without a doubt that God wants us to be healthy and in shape. (And yes, round is a shape, but that’s not the kind of shape I mean.) I also know that getting there involves the daily habits of exercising and eating healthily. I’ve found in the past that I can get on the treadmill Monday morning easily. Tuesday morning’s not so hard either. Wednesday is my off day right now because I lead a 7:00am men’s group. Thursday…well, that’s much harder. And then it’s the weekend and It all goes to hell in a handbasket.

My intentions of exercising six days a week on the treadmill don’t match the reality of two days a week.

And yes, two days are better than none. But real progress comes from daily habits.

There are many other examples of this. I may post tomorrow on the daily habits I’m working to cultivate. Stay tuned.

What daily habits do you need to cultivate?

Thought for today for the week of 04/03/16

Every day I post a thought for the day on facebook and twitter. This past week’s quotes were about failure, irrelevance, faith, and more.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Failure isn’t a necessary evil. In fact, it isn’t evil at all. It is a necessary consequence of doing something new.

—Ed Catmull

HT: Michael Hyatt

Monday, April 4, 2016

Irrelevance comes from always doing the things you know how to do in the way you’ve always done them.

—Tom Peters

HT: Mark Howell

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. Faith is the belief that God will do what is right.

—Max Lucado

HT: Hebrews (Life Lessons series) by Max Lucado

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men.

—C.S. Lewis

HT: The Gospel of Mark Bible Study Book: The Jesus We’re Aching For by Lisa Harper

Thursday, April 7, 2016

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

HT: Creative Followership

Friday, April 8, 2016

If you really want to be a rebel, read your Bible, because no one’s doing that. That’s rebellion. That’s the only rebellion left.

—Lecrae

HT: Lifeway

Note: I’m told this is actually a quote from Mark Driscoll that is quoted on Lecrae’s song, to be exact.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Your attitude, more than your aptitude, will determine your altitude.

—John C. Maxwell

HT: Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success by John C. Maxwell