Not every day is good, BUT . . .

OK, I must admit, I struggle greatly sometimes. One of the reasons I have not blogged lately is because I have been struggling emotionally. Depression is a serious issue affecting millions and I am one of those millions.

Even if you don’t struggle with this issue, I know you have bad days from time to time. It’s amazing how one moment can change the course of your day and turn your outlook from positive to negative in a flash.

  • An unkind word.
  • An unexpected bill.
  • A startling phone call.
  • A negative comment.
  • A dashboard light.
  • A frightening diagnosis.
  • An alarming email.

Even if your outlook is naturally cheery and your sunny disposition is rarely cloudy, sometimes, in a flash, your day can go from sweet to sour, and suddenly everything’s coming up weeds—no roses to be found.

Recently a statement I read on my pastor’s daughter’s blog caught my imagination. I’m considering blowing it up to a 200-point font and pasting it on every surface I may look at to remind myself of this truth. Here it is:

Not every day is good, but it is best to look at the good in every day.

Simple, right? But powerful.

It is a plain fact that not every day is good. For me, as I have struggled with this dark side of me called depression, those days can easily turn into weeks. It can be difficult to see through the thick fog of despair, sometimes demanding to even get out of bed or take one step forward.

But this simple statement reminds me, even in the darkest days, to look for the one lone ray of light. To rifle through stacks of despair to locate a dispatch of hope. To search for the good needle in the haystack of gloom.

Not every day is good, but it is best to look at the good in every day.

One of the ways I’m trying to do this is by writing down three things I’m grateful for. I have a custom daily to do sheet I designed and use and there is a spot on the sheet for me to write this down every day. I also have a weekly focus sheet I use and I have a spot there to record “good things that happened this week.” And I’m trying to stop in the midst of a swirling vortex of despair moment and look for the good, the right, the positive to focus on and move me forward. By the way, my wife is great at helping me with this.

I’m sure you can think of many other ways to do this. The best way for you is the way that works best for you. The most important thing is that you have a specific strategy, not some vague idea.

How do you focus on the positive in the midst of the negative? What’s your specific strategy?

Do what you know to do

We are what we repeatedly do.

—Aristotle

Our family, like thousands of others in our area, spent the last week on spring break. I even took some vacation days to relax and spend with my favorite people. But unlike what seemed like 95% of said families—at least, according to my facebook feed—we did not head to the beach but stayed home. A “staycation” some call it.

It was a much needed spell of relaxed schedules and free time and I would not go back and change it. But I found myself reflecting on the value of daily habits yesterday.

In the sermon at church the statement was made that Christ is never satisfied with where I am, but wants me to take the next step. That rings true with me. I feel like I’m always looking for the next step, sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small ways. And especially now that Jenni will be starting her senior year of high school in the fall dual-enrolled at Kennesaw State University, I’ve been thinking about her next steps as well as Cheryl’s as we enter a new season in our family.

But as I contemplated all this, I felt God speaking to me something very important: Rather than being consumed with seeking the next step in my life and in the life of our family, right now we need to do what we know God has called us to do. And many of the things God has called us to do involve steady progress involving small daily habits.

Let me explain with an example.

I know without a doubt that God wants us to be healthy and in shape. (And yes, round is a shape, but that’s not the kind of shape I mean.) I also know that getting there involves the daily habits of exercising and eating healthily. I’ve found in the past that I can get on the treadmill Monday morning easily. Tuesday morning’s not so hard either. Wednesday is my off day right now because I lead a 7:00am men’s group. Thursday…well, that’s much harder. And then it’s the weekend and It all goes to hell in a handbasket.

My intentions of exercising six days a week on the treadmill don’t match the reality of two days a week.

And yes, two days are better than none. But real progress comes from daily habits.

There are many other examples of this. I may post tomorrow on the daily habits I’m working to cultivate. Stay tuned.

What daily habits do you need to cultivate?

Thought for today for the week of 04/03/16

Every day I post a thought for the day on facebook and twitter. This past week’s quotes were about failure, irrelevance, faith, and more.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Failure isn’t a necessary evil. In fact, it isn’t evil at all. It is a necessary consequence of doing something new.

—Ed Catmull

HT: Michael Hyatt

Monday, April 4, 2016

Irrelevance comes from always doing the things you know how to do in the way you’ve always done them.

—Tom Peters

HT: Mark Howell

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. Faith is the belief that God will do what is right.

—Max Lucado

HT: Hebrews (Life Lessons series) by Max Lucado

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men.

—C.S. Lewis

HT: The Gospel of Mark Bible Study Book: The Jesus We’re Aching For by Lisa Harper

Thursday, April 7, 2016

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

HT: Creative Followership

Friday, April 8, 2016

If you really want to be a rebel, read your Bible, because no one’s doing that. That’s rebellion. That’s the only rebellion left.

—Lecrae

HT: Lifeway

Note: I’m told this is actually a quote from Mark Driscoll that is quoted on Lecrae’s song, to be exact.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Your attitude, more than your aptitude, will determine your altitude.

—John C. Maxwell

HT: Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success by John C. Maxwell

2016 READING CHALLENGE: The Year of Courage

I’ve always loved to read. I have a memory from my childhood of Mom bringing home boxes of books that she saved from being destroyed. She worked for the county school resource office at the time (mainly caring for and sending out films and filmstrips–remember those?), and they were getting rid of old books from school libraries to make room for new ones. To someone else, those boxes may have seemed like trash. But to me it was a treasure chest.

Later, in early adulthood, I went through a time where I said I loved to read but finally realized I wasn’t really reading. I think schooling does that to you. You have to read so much that you really don’t want to read that you don’t have time for what you do want to read, and you just get out of the habit.

That’s when I started making reading goals and began to really read. And over the years, I keep learning how to get more out of what I read.

I can truly say that reading is one of my favorite things to do. It’s a place of comfort for me, but also of challenge.

I’ve known so many people over the years that were like me years ago: a desire to read more, but they just need a little push. A little accountability.

That’s one of the reasons I’m starting a new group this semester that will be different from any other group we’ve done at NorthStar. It’s called the 2016 Reading Challenge.

Here’s the lowdown:

Day: The last WEDNESDAY of each month
Time: 7:00-8:30pm
Leader: Randy Elster
Location: NorthStar campus

  • We will read one book a month.
  • We’ll meet once a month, at the end of the month, to discuss the book.
  • During the month we’ll stay in touch via email, this blog, and possibly other means to encourage each other and make sure we’re on track.
  • This will be a year-long group focused on a theme, so that each book that year will be tied to the one-word theme. The 2016 theme will be “courage.”
  • Even though it’s a year-long group, the commitment is month to month. So you can drop out and back in when needed, or if you don’t like the book that month.
  • The books will not all be Christian books. They will include Christian and secular, fiction and nonfiction, and include many genres: history, biography, business, leadership, self-help, and more.
  • Though not all the books will be Christian, we will approach each book and discuss them from a biblical perspective.
  • The group will support a habit of lifelong learning and part of the discussions will be around how we grow personally and apply what we learn.
  • The group, as the name implies, is a challenge both to read more and to read more thoughtfully, taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

This group is for:

  • Readers who want to have a little more structure to their reading and want to discuss what they are reading with others to gain new insights and to see how what they are reading compares to a biblical worldview.
  • Nonreaders who want to read more but would like the discipline and accountability that a group like this would give.

And here is the tentative book list:

  • 02/16 Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado
  • 03/16 Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters by Jon Acuff
  • 04/16 Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
  • 05/16 Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
  • 06/16 Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
  • 07/16 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • 08/16 Brave: 50 Everyday Acts of Courage to Thrive in Work, Love and Life by Margie Warrell
  • 09/16 The Courage Quotient: How Science Can Make You Braver by Robert Biswas-Diener
  • 10/16 The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
  • 11/16 Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Henry Cloud
  • 12/16 Brave Companions: Portraits in History by David McCullough

Interested? Join us!

Register: northstarchurch.org/group
More info: randy dot elster at northstarchurch dot org

How to avoid feeling spiritually defeated, deflated, and discouraged in the new year

As we begin a new year, our thoughts turn to how to better ourselves. As we joke in our house, on the first of January I will become a completely different person. Whether we call them resolutions or goals or prayers for the new year, we can quickly become discouraged as our plans get waylaid by life circumstances, temptations, and a lack of discipline.

Hopefully some of our most important resolutions or goals include growing spiritually—growing closer to God and closer to our family and church family—and helping others grow closer to God as well, what Paul called the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). It’s so easy to get discouraged and feel defeated when we skip a daily quiet time or fall into temptation yet again or miss an opportunity to turn someone’s eyes to Christ.

So as you begin this season of change, whether in January or any other month for that matter, here are 10 ways to keep from feeling defeated spiritually.

ONE: GET ADEQUATE SLEEP
It may seem odd advice for a spiritual problem, but research is showing that adequate rest is our most potent defense against illness and depression. More important than even diet and exercise to our overall health, sleep recharges us and improves our attitude and concentration. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nap.

TWO: EXERCISE YOUR PHYSICAL BODY AND GET PROPER NUTRITION
Again, this may not seem applicable to spiritual issues at first glance, but we need to realize that we are body, soul, and spirit combined. Each part can impact the other parts. Improving our diet and getting regular exercise improves mood and increases energy levels, making us better able to fight off spiritual defeat and discouragement.

THREE: EXERCISE YOUR SPIRITUAL BODY WITH DAILY BIBLE INTAKE AND PRAYER
Just as our physical bodies need daily exercise and quality nutrition, our spiritual bodies require daily prayer and Bible reading. Nothing prepares our spiritual outlook for the day better than this. Paul told Timothy to “train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7b-8 NIV). As we hear from God through taking in His Word and as God hears from us through prayer, we make ourselves ready for what’s to come and help insulate our hearts from the hard knocks of life.

FOUR: APPLY WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING
It’s not enough to learn the Bible, but we also need to apply it to our lives and be obedient to what God is calling us to do. As we step out courageously in obedience, we find victory in knowing we’re doing His will.

FIVE: LIVE LIFE WITH OTHERS IN COMMUNITY
We need the encouragement of others to keep from feeling defeated and to help us see things from different perspectives. We all have blind spots and others can see us and our issues in ways we can’t. This includes spouse, children, parents, small group, trained counselors, authors, and others who can give us a different perspective. Often our feelings of discouragement simply come from a wrong understanding of our circumstances and someone else can objectively give us a different, more empowering point of view or a piece of wisdom or advice we’ve never considered.

SIX: REMEMBER THAT GOD IS STRONGEST WHEN YOU ARE WEAKEST
Maybe God wants to use your weakness in a way that shows you, and possibly others, His power. Realize that when you are at your weakest, God is at His strongest. Remember what Christ said to Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And Paul’s response was: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). This may be a chance to trust God more fully and deepen your faith.

SEVEN: MEET CHALLENGES WITH A VICTOR, NOT A VICTIM, MENTALITY
This is a challenge I am facing this year. It’s so easy for me to quickly get discouraged by every little obstacle in my path. But sometimes it’s just a matter of rewriting the script that I’m telling myself. We can either face things from a negative point of view or a positive one. Most every seemingly negative situation has a positive side to it. We can either face problems or opportunities. Ask yourself: How can I face this situation with a positive attitude?

EIGHT: REPENT WHEN YOU FAIL, BUT ACCEPT THE GRACE AND FORGIVENESS GOD GIVES
Because we are human and still living on this earth, sin will always be an issue and we will face times of failure. Sin does require repentance. But we need to accept God’s forgiveness and rise again to face the next challenge. We make God’s grace a farce if we continue to wallow in self-pity and defeat. Thank God our condition depends on God’s grace and not our own righteousness.

NINE: LEARN FROM EVERY SITUATION
Being a lifelong learner is so important, but not just learning from books and courses and seminars. We need to learn from every situation and circumstance, including our times of failure. But it takes a certain amount of quiet and reflection to do this. As John Maxwell says, “Experience isn’t the best teacher; evaluated experience is.” Consider taking a few minutes at the end of each day to think through the highs and lows of the day and what God may be teaching you. A journal is so helpful for this.

TEN: TAKE TIME TO REFUEL
Finally, I recommend something that may seem a little selfish: Take some me time. You need to take time for yourself doing some things that recharge your batteries. For me that might mean reading or watching movies. For others it might mean hunting or fishing, or being crafty, or playing an instrument—it will be different for each person. This is hard for some us because it seems like we’re being self-centered. But just as a car needs to be regularly refueled to run, so we as humans need to be replenished. We can’t give out to others what we aren’t taking in.

I hope these ideas help protect your heart from spiritual discouragement and feelings of defeat. And I hope you have the greatest year yet!

This post was first published on the NorthStar Church site.